And now from a great thread from Gawker pwning Hooker's critiquing survivor's grieving:
65 participants
The most disgusting aspect of the Sandy Hook Truthers are the "Grief Police" who seem to think that because one of the victims parents didn't act in a grieffy enough way, it must be a conspiracy. Any psychologist or counselor will tell you that there is no "normal" way to grieve. Some people remain completely stoic and logical; others emotionally break down. Still others feel so overwhelmed by emotion that they only way they know how to respond is through laughter or humor. So STFU Sandy Hook truthers and stop telling people the correct way to grieve. Especially when giving interviews to the media, many people just aren't going to become the blubbering walruses that you think all grieving parents must act like. It's not a conspiracy. It's a diversity of human emotional responses to an extremely tragic situation. Reality doesn't fit so neatly into your narrow minded, "it all makes sense," world view. 1/15/13 6:49pm
Our thoughts exactly.
Only a couple Hookers weigh in in te comments that follow, pretty much proving the "Hooker" truthers are out numbered by sane people. Thank god.
[Hooker comments in Bold]
If they were blubbering walruses they would be accused of "acting". 1/15/13 8:29pm
Exactly. I can't even imagine being in their situation, let alone then having my public grieving critiqued. 1/15/13 8:29pm
i have a very stoic approach to it each grieving process is different god people are dumb 1/15/13 8:45pm
Also,
drugs. A classmate of mine was killed in a car accident in high school,
her mother was so distraught they had to drug her (Ativan) so she could
get through the memorials and services. My friend's dad committed
suicide, same thing, she and her mother had enough klonopin to last a
lifetime. I hate that these people can't see outside of their own
bullshit. 1/15/13 8:46pm
Disgusting is right. I can't even begin to conceive of what kind of midset leads to this crap. 1/15/13 9:06pm
Seriously
- I have to wonder if any of these fucking "Truthers" have ever lost a
loved one? My dad died suddenly a year and a half ago from a heart
attack. He had been a textbook perfect example of "how to not have a
heart attack," so it was completely unexpected. The hospital told us he
passed out at the grocery store, and wouldn't tell us more until we got
there - and in the little private room, like they do. When they told me
my dad had a heart attack and died, I didn't cry. I didn't express
sadness. I just couldn't process it. It seemed like they were talking
about someone else. For the longest time, it seemed like he was on a
long out of town trip, like he sometimes would take. I did cry when I
saw his body, and at the funeral, but the past year and a half has been
so insane and I've spent most of my time taking care of other people
with their own life problems, that I feel like I haven't had time to
grieve. It comes in bursts, but it's not a pattern that anyone can
replicate or assign as "the right way."
I am fucking flabbergasted as these pieces of shits - to let their
paranoia, their masturbatory gun obsession, guide their basic dismissal
of decency and common sense. And further, to harass family members of
the dead. It's fucking unreal and an unforgivable level of assholery. 1/15/13 9:16pm
I concur. 1/15/13 9:17pm
Ugh,
no, don't tell them anything involving psychology, they'll just start
in on a satellite rant. They will have already connected it to Hitler in
the time it took me to type this. 1/15/13 9:20pm
Thank you! A lot of these people were still in such shock and confusion.
It PAINS me to see that Robbie Parker was so scrutinized for
"laughing" before he talked about Emilie. That was most likely a nervous
laugh! None of these people know how to feel!I hate when they scrutinize Grace's parents too, for smiling while talking to Anderson Cooper about Grace. They were smiling because they were talking and reflecting on their beautiful daughter.
I completely reiterate what stacyinbean said, so many of these people are on drugs to just get through their fucking day and can still barely come to the realization that their most precious loves, their children, are gone.
As a resident of Newtown, I am truly disgusted with all the people that are believing this. My town is still grieving and heartbroken, and none of these sick people are helping. 1/15/13 9:28pm
Thank
you yes. A million times yes. Even understanding a little of grief and
the path these parents are on, I still could never, would never judge
anothers grief. And the premise of the video that these parents must be
actors because well look at that not being X (insert whatever judgement
here) is just so so wrong.
Four years ago tomorrow, our middle daughter died. It was completely
unexpected and outside of anyone's control or foresight. In an instant
we turned batshit-freaking insane. Example #1. I recall my husband and I making awkward jokes with nurse while at hospital. Mere hours after she passed. I can't recall what the joke was even about, but I recall laughing about something. The idea that my child was dead was something that my head could not begin to comprehend and so in some illogical flight of fancy, we laughed at some joke.
Example #2. On our drive home from the hospital without our beloved child, I asked my husband if we needed to stop at Costco. Stop.at.Costco. COSTCO!
Example #3. Did you read #2 where I asked my husband if we should stop at Costco on our way home?
Example #4. I manically cleaned the house for days and I'm not a fastidious cleaner. When someone looked at me with those sad sad eyes and asked me how we were doing, I'd reply all chipper like, 'we are going to make something positive and beautiful of her memory, we'll change the world for her'. I was so positive and chipper and full of saving the world.
Reality, or 'grief' as the world likes to judge took weeks to set in. When it did the firestorm of attention had started to die down as well, so I don't think that most even realized the full depth of pain we felt. They'd only seen us brave and strong and full of beautiful memories and tributes. The reality of a devastating loss like we experienced is now something we feel deeply every day.
Everyday we wake up without our daughter. Everyday those Newtown parents will wake up without their bright eyed and beautiful little children. My heart breaks for them. Do not judge their grief by the few moments you see in a snippet of video, for heaven forbid you ever experience yourself the day to day reality of life after loss. 1/15/13 9:36pm
He probably hadn't even accepted it yet. It took me two days before I finally had a massive screeching cry over my dead dog. 1/15/13 9:41pm
Considering
your reaction, the only logical conclusion I can make is that your
daughter never died, and you are taking part in a government conspiracy. 1/15/13 9:48pm
Right! I know! Or there was a glitch in the matrix or something. :/ 1/15/13 9:52pm
Exactly what I was saying. 1/15/13 9:55pm
May I quote this on FB? It's just perfect. 1/15/13 9:58pm
So
when Robbie Parker went from laughing casually to poorly acted
hyperventilating once he realized the cameras were on him- you're saying
this is just his way of coping with the grieving process? 1/15/13 9:59pm
That made me cry... because I can't find and mistakes in it! No, it's just sad... 1/15/13 10:02pm
It took me a month... except I hid in the closet and cried so no one would hear me. 1/15/13 10:05pm
Definitely! 1/15/13 10:08pm
you
are so patriotic, but sadly you are wrong. i can not name my inside
sources who work with the government, but yes, this was stage to affect
millions of americans to give in to ban gun laws in the long run.
remember my words, Obama not long from now will deliver a speech on
possible banning guns if not almost impossible to obtain a gun legally
through all kinds of paper work and drug test of individual and family
members. 1/15/13 10:16pm
Actually
the "parents" acted and looked like they just spent a week at a spa.
Sandy Hook is a "Psy Op". 100% staged. No real victims. Stop being
Sheople, people :) 1/15/13 10:23pm
egads. My head is spinning from the judgement you are spewing.
No, it was his way of being human. And it wouldn't have made for an
interesting conspiracy soundbite if they'd showed even a glimpse of
their behind the scenes grieving process. The video didn't show any of
that now did it?Child death messes with a parents mind in an absolutely incomprehensible way. Even now I can't get my own head back in that space it was in at the time our daughter died. It was literally like I existed in an alternate reality and we had no media scrunity and no conspiracy theorists dissecting our every word or action.
He laughed for 30 seconds for whatever reason then was shocked back to reality that he had to speak of his dead.daughter.on.camera. Just being on camera alone without any of the reality of having experienced the murder of your dear child makes plenty of grownups turn into caricatures of themselves.
And someone started a FB page for our daughter the day she died as well. Just hours after. Oh and for the record, if we were to meet the president and our littlest wanted to wear her deceased big sisters red and black dress that was her big sisters favorite, I guarantee you the answer would be yes. You know, just to give the conspiracy theorists more crap to spew. 1/15/13 10:24pm
My
mother died when I was 14. Same deal. It was sudden and unexpected for
us, too- she died a few months after being told she had beat her cancer
because her body decided to reject her bone marrow transplant and the
local doctors were too incompetent to see what was going on. In my case,
we had hope for a few weeks while she was responding to treatment, but
at the last moment she took a drastic turn for the worse, so in that
sense we got pounced on twice. Anyway, enough time passed between her
initial trip to the hospital and her death that I actually went home
(200 miles away- she was Careflight-ed to her cancer hospital in
Houston). When we found out she had like 24 hours to live, I couldn't
make myself go and watch her die (at that time, she had been in an
induced coma for more than a week). So for years (I'm 19 now), I've had
these recurring dreams that she isn't really dead, and that she's been
off in the Caribbean or the Himalayas or something for all this time.
But yea, I didn't cry for months- not until I had moved in with my dad
and we hit a rough financial spot, and I was sort of forced to face the
fact that my life had been completely upended, nothing would ever be the
same, and she wasn't ever going to be there to comfort me about it. 1/15/13 10:43pm
I
second the commenter who suggested drugs as an explanation. My cousin
dropped dead of a heart attack at age 27. To get through his funeral, my
mother, my aunt, and I all took Xanax that a friend gave us. We were
able to talk about Roy and laugh as we remembered funny things about
him. We could not have cried if we tried. I did try to cry because I
felt weird sitting at his funeral dry eyed. I felt like others were
looking at us weird because we weren't crying. I'm sure parents dealing
with the death of their young child AND the national news media would
have what we call here in the south "nerve pills." 1/15/13 11:06pm
That's
exactly what I've been trying to express to morons who want to judge
these parents by their very human reactions to this unimaginable
tragedy. I'm so sorry for your terrible loss, but thank you for sharing
your story. 1/15/13 11:49pm
Without
even watching the entire Robbie Parker speech, my initial thought was
"I wonder if he's a member of LDS". People handle grief in many
different ways, especially those of certain religious sects. And
immediately, his use of language and whole demeanor just screamed LDS to
me. 1/16/13 12:23am
As your post so clearly demonstrates... 1/16/13 12:34am
ok
so i don't emote when tragic shit happen''s like the late great george
carlin once said remember when it didn't take a national tragedy to get
people to care yeah something like that and yes people are dumb just
look at our national literacy rate just wonderful 1/16/13 1:02am
no word's to describe how sad and utterly idiotic this shit is 1/16/13 1:03am
Don't
get pulled into these conspiracy theorists' warped logic; these people
don't really care about the grieving practices over the victims of Sandy
Hook. They already have the story written in their heads, and their now
just looking for any slice of bullshit they can get their hands on to
validate their beliefs. To respond to their claims in any way other than
disgust is pointless. 1/16/13 1:20am
True.
Me, I deal with tragedy by replacing it with anger. I push the sadness
down as much as I can (but it sometimes comes up) and look for
someone/something to blame, so I can focus my emotions on being angry.
If I was a parent who lost a kid in this shooting, damn right I'd be
crying, but I'd also be angry at Lanza and complaining that he died,
which meant I'd never be able to get my revenge. 1/16/13 3:57am
I'm
sorry for your loss, HBDC. The same thing (sudden fatal heart attack)
happened to my dad over 10 years ago, and I still haven't taken time to
grieve. In the moment, there was so much stuff and so many people to
take care of, and then more shit happened, and then it was 10 years
later. 1/16/13 4:11am
I'm
sorry for your loss; I'm sure it hurts every day, but the anniversaries
can be especially difficult. Your sense of humor can help carry you
through a lot; thank you for sharing a little bit with us. 1/16/13 4:16am
Don't
bother preaching to me, sweetie. Just...keep it to yourself. At least
until you learn how to use "shift" and punctuation, that is. 1/16/13 6:47am
Funny
thing is, we all talk about taking time to grieve, or tell others that
they need to take time to grieve, but what does that even mean? It's not
like its an activity that you can schedule. For most of us, grief isn't
an emotion, it's just a giant hole in your life that you learn to
accommodate. Personally, I cry over petty arguments and bad haircuts,
but not the big stuff. If my child was suddenly shot dead at school, I
doubt I could put on a show spectacular enough to satisfy these
conspiracy nutjobs who have appointed themselves the arbiters of grief. 1/16/13 6:55am
The
thing that amazes me is — I don't feel like I've lead an especially
sheltered life, where grief is concerned. I've lost my grandparents,
I've lost other relatives, I've seen people I love lose close friends,
etc. And, while none of those people were children (thank god) I don't
think I've ever seen anything like the kind of public wailing and
torrents of tears the conspiracy buffs seem to think is the One True
Way to grieve. I'm sure it's something that happens occasionally —
people grieve in all different ways — but it seems to be very much an
outlier. 1/16/13 8:45am
I'm
so sorry. It's awful, isn't it? It seems to be happening in a different
room, or to someone else, or in a different country. And yet it's a
huge huge thing, but somehow all the world around you is the same, when
it feels like it should be incredibly different and changed. 1/16/13 9:21am
The
crying thing is the only little bit you took from the whole video? How
can you argue about the little girl who was allegedly killed in the
shooting but was seen in a photo with Obama after the shooting OR the
several websites created days before the shooting in commemoration for
something that hadn't happened yet? Pull your head out of your ass. 1/16/13 9:39am
All
people deal with grief in a different way and yes, for some, that means
laughing and joking. I've seen a friend die on the ice right in front
of me while I was playing hockey and 30-45mins later, we were making
jokes and laughing. It was a horrible situation but some of us coped
with it that way, others went and got drunk, others cried, others got
angry, others showed no emotion.
Just because someone doesn't wail and cry doesn't mean they aren't heartbroken. 1/16/13 10:17am
I
am so sorry for the loss of your dad and I totally relate to your
experience. I lost my dad almost 3 years ago now to ALS. It was a
19-month battle against a relentless and horrible disease that left him
completely paralyzed and STILL I was shocked when he died. Grieving does
not occur in a progressive way. It is not a straight line from point A
to point B. Grief ebbs and flows, even hours after the loss occurs. I
remember when my mom, my sister and I were at the funeral parlor, just
hours after my dad died and I spoke to the mortician and started
rambling a little about how gorgeous my dad was, telling him to take
extra special care to make him look good because he was so exceptionally
good looking and it's not because I'm biased it's just a fact... and my
sister and mom started giggling. Then we looked at each other and
laughed. If cameras had been rolling, people could have taken our laugh
as evidence that we weren't upset my dad died.
Anyway I'm with you on these moronic conspiracy theorists, they
disgust me and I feel so awful for the families that not only have to go
through such a traumatic loss but also have their grief publicly judged
and be subjected to this level of assholery. 1/16/13 10:33am
I
attended the funeral of one of the children and I know a few parents
were on valium to help them get through the all the funerals they would
be attending. Imagine burying your child, his teacher and his entire
class over the span of 5 days! 1/16/13 11:40am
My
mom was in detox on Christmas eve when I was, ten or eleven. The nurse
brought her orange juice, and she asked if there was vodka in it
jokingly. The nurse looked at her and said, "I don't think that's very
funny. It's Christmas Eve and you've got two little kids at home." 1/16/13 12:44pm
It's
not the fact that he was smiling what upsets me, it's the fact that as
soon as he was told they were ready to film he immediately changed his
face and went into sad mode. They way you see him preparing himself to
film is the same way actors do. I know this has some pretty awful
implications because the public is really divided on the whole gun
control issue and no one wants to believe the government would do such a
thing, but just think of the possibility of it being staged, I think
it's worth looking into. 1/16/13 2:12pm
Or,
you know, he could have been putting on a brave/laughing face for the
reporters and the moment he opened his mouth to start talking about how
his six year old daughter died, he hyperventilated and started to lose
it. That's, you know, basically how fucking overwhelming grief works.
Have you never started to talk about something only to be caught off
guard by how opening your mouth just brings on totally overwhelming
feeling?
Whatever, I don't know why I'm responding to you. This entire line of
reasoning, exemplified by your comment, is morally repulsive,
disgusting, revolting, and just makes me think you are a fucking
horrible person. In fact, I'm certain of it. Enjoy going through life as
a fucking horrible person. I'm so sorry that the fact that he was smiling "upsets you." That's definitely the thing to be upset about here. 1/16/13 3:46pm
"It's not the fact that he was smiling what upsets me" Learn how to read!
I know grief, I don't need anyone to tell me how it works or how it
doesn't. If you cannot separate yourself emotionally from this stuff and
avoid calling arguments 'morally repulsive, disgusting, revolting' then
you are not capable of distancing yourself enough the issue as to be
able to formulate an unbiased opinion.Kids die every single day, it's sad but nevertheless a fact. People need to stop getting emotional about this stuff in order to find the cause of the problem. Why can we not question anything anymore without being called crazy, stupid or a fucking horrible person? This is ridiculous! 1/16/13 4:11pm
Please
remind me that I have no humane sense of perspective the moment I
respond to a story about twenty 6 and 7 year olds being slaughtered in a
school with "kids die every single day." That's rich.
Sure, I agree we need to get at the cause of the problem. You're
being very helpful in this regard by suggesting the cause of the problem
is some grand conspiracy proven by some guy not expressing his grief in
the way that you think is normal. Thank you for your contributions. Okay, I've now learned to read, and in reading I see that what upsets you in all of this is his "actor mode." Point taken, that is definitely the thing to get upset about here. 1/16/13 5:50pm
And
yeah, man, sorry, but you are a horrible human being if you can watch a
video of a guy breaking down in front of cameras describing the murder
of his six year old daughter and think "hey, that guy's ACTING, THIS IS A
FRAUD." 1/16/13 5:52pm
You're
right, there are many ways to react to a tragedy. But, is there a way
to react to obamas photo being taken with a girl who was killed? Emilie
was said to of been killed, but her photo is taken with Obama. Can you
please explain that one, oh grief counselor? 1/16/13 9:17pm
You can question things without being crazy, stupid, or fucking horrible. It's just that you're not doing that. 1/16/13 10:17pm
No. You'll just have to prove that you're not inbred in order to have a gun. 1/16/13 10:20pm
You
sir are an idiot. Some remain completely 'stoic' and 'logical' huh? A
psych. would also tell you if someone is crying hysterically they shed
TEARS. It is impossible as a human to feel emotion to the point of
sobbing, yet never release any liquid from the lacrimal glands. Again,
lack of education when making such a bold statement is not advisable. WE
are not telling anyone how to grieve, WE are looking for the TRUTH. WE
feel the the families and American people need the answers to what
actually happened. Pearl Harbor, JFK, MLK, Oklahoma City bombings,
original Trade center bombings, 9-11(how odd they chose such a
significant day. 911 will always resonate in your head because of the
emergency number tie. Purposely done.)Columbine, Aurora, Sandy. A major
piece of legislation has almost always been passed post event and we
went to war for three of those. These things are staged so the elite can
get whatever laws they want passed, or so that they can convince the
masses we need to go to war. It's disgusting actually, thousands dead on
9-11, and there is a no doubt those buildings came down in 'demolition'
manner. Thousands of lives losst and counting and we still think Osama
had something to do with it. C'mon man! 9 of the hi jackers are still
alive! But back to Sandy Hook, people sometimes laugh when upset,
sometimes cry and sometimes lash out, so yeah people respond in
different manners but again, If you sob there has to be tears. I have
seen interviews from that fateful day as well as the days following, I
watched them all.....NO TEARS! #falseflag 1/17/13 8:06am
Not
grieving and LAUGHING are two very different things....I'm not saying
this didn't happen I'm just saying that this video raises a number of
questions that are legitimate enough to deserve an explanation. 1/17/13 9:14am
"Why can we not question anything anymore without being called crazy, stupid or a fucking horrible person?"
Have you ever heard of the phrase "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer"? 1/17/13 3:13pm
Seek help. 1/17/13 3:22pm
Seek help. 1/17/13 3:23pm
I
cannot imagine your grief or sense of loss. That you could come here in
the face of this ugliness and offer your story bespeaks a courage I do
not have and that the "truthers" cannot even grasp. 1/17/13 11:00pm
very
true. my father died very suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack
when i was 15 years old. i reacted in two ways: firstly, i went blank.
just turned off all emotion. no tears, no despair. after about a week, i
stuck with the lack of emotion but added sick humor- cracking wildly
inappropriate jokes about my father's death (in large part due to the
fact that my father had an... 'unconventional' sense of humor, and i
think i was trying to honor that by being irreverent and poking fun at
the situation his death left us in.) tears and wailing is not the only
way to grieve. 1/18/13 1:08am
ah,
wow :) when my father died, at his wake, i remember talking with his
french hairstylist (my dad collected unusual people), and we both
decided that the mortuary had fucked up his hair- so she and i went
about fussing over his hair while he was laying in his casket, only
stopping when we were satisfied with how mussed up it was (the way he
usually wore it). we smiled and laughed with each other while fixing
this dead man's hair. if someone had recorded us then, they could have
accused me of being a bad daughter, not grieving 'correctly' for him-
and they wouldn't understand anything. thanks for sharing that story. 1/18/13 1:20am
"For most of us, grief isn't an emotion, it's just a giant hole in your life that you learn to accommodate."
that is.. perfect. exactly that. thank you for finding such words. 1/18/13 1:29am
Exactly.
That is a touching story, thanks for sharing. I think it is perfectly
normal to be able to laugh occasionally when someone you love dies. Your
relationship with them does not die and the joy and good things they
brought to your life are still with you and part of grieving 'correctly'
(if there is such a thing) is remembering the person's life and
exuberance not just focus on how horrific and tragic their death has
been. Or something like that... I don't know. I just know what I
experienced and how I can relate to someone cracking a smile or breaking
into a laugh so soon after a loved one has died. 1/18/13 12:28pm
Why
won't people like you get psychiatric help? Why do you instead inflict
your delusions on others, and worse - use the deaths of children to
further your sick and twisted paranoias? You have no shame. You sicken
me. I hope you make the mistake of sounding off to one of the grieving
parents, and face some physical consequences. But you're far too
cowardly and pathetic to do that, aren't you? 1/18/13 1:27pm
Yes, very easily:
http://metabunk.org/threads/1054-Debunked-Emily-Parker-Still-Alive-after-Sandy-Hook(By the way, next time, make sure your bullshit isn't so easily disprovable before you decide to act smug) 2/08/13 6:47pm
[CITATION NEEDED] 2/08/13 9:54pm
"distancing yourself enough the issue as to be able to formulate an unbiased opinion."
[...]"They way you see him preparing himself to film is the same way actors do."
I can tell how unbiased you are by the way immediately assume he was "preparing himself to film" despite having nothing to back up that assertion. Nope, you definitely don't have any preconceived notions about this! 2/08/13 9:59pm
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